A plea to any Television Execs out there.

I have been reflecting on my Dave stories, and after careful thought and consideration, I seriously think it could be adapted into a Mr Bean style show. Admittedly it won't be as good as Mr Bean, but I don't mind that.

Or I can just keep writing until I've got enough for a short story collection.

I'm not sure if this is my shortest ever blog post, but there is a point.

Memory Lane...

Now, I'm not really a technology kind of person. You won't find me with an Ipod or an Iphone or an Ipad. Unless I'm in the process of setting fire to the bloody things!

But I feel it is just one of those necessary constants in life to be the owner of a games console. Currently I have a 'games-console-shaped' hole in my life that is just desperate to be filled. I have had them in the past, and enjoyed countless hours playing various games, but circumstances have contrived to give me reason to part with my games consoles over the years. And right now, at this precise moment in time, it is giving me some cause for upset that I can't satisfy my hunger for gaming.

Now that's out of the way, time for a self-indulgent trip down memory lane...





The first games console I ever had was the Sega Game Gear. The creme de la creme of handheld gaming at the time. No rubbishy green-screened Game Boy for me, oh no! Colour all the way. The joys of Super Kick Off 2, upgraded to the more expansive Sensible Soccer as time went on. My 'Wimbledon' tie-in game, Madden NFL (the '95 version). The button pounding Olympics game for Barcelona 1992 is quite an enduring memory for me, mostly because that is the very first game I had for the console, along with the obligatory 'Columns' (Tetris rip-off). One particular Christmas Eve, I so badgered my parents into allowing me a Christmas present to open (just to tide me over until morning) they let me have one present to open, and I tore the paper off to reveal Ecco The Dolphin. Needless to say, I didn't go to bed particularly early that Christmas night, but was still wide awake and bushy tailed at 6 the next morning, much to my parents' dismay!! And I almost forgot my peer pressure-led purchase of Mortal Kombat. It was okay, especially when you'd mastered the death moves. But I don't miss it now.

I loved my Game Gear so much, and got so much play out of it, that when it broke, my parents weren't too happy, but gave into my whining and bought me a replacement. Cue many more years of enjoyment with only one more addition to my game library in the form of PGA Tour Golf as the second console began to wear and get old.

It wasn't until I'd moved out and was living with my soon to be first-wife (at the time - now she's my ex-wife) that I decided the time was right to go back into the gaming world. I bought myself the Sony Playstation One (or Playstation, as it was at the time!) Again, being sporty-minded, I leaned towards Football games, but with two stepdaughters, compromise was needed, hence my collection included a Dancing game. I had Pro Evolution 2 which I upgraded to FIFA03 before the end. Other games that I can remember were Music Manager (a big let down), one of the early Harry Potter games (I think it was Chamber of Secrets, but I'm not sure) and maybe a World Rally Game.

The most recent drain on my free time was the Playstation 2. A straight trade-in to get the bundle with Gran Turismo 3. Over time, I built quite a good collection of games (yes, sport dominated) but it got me through tough times in marriage, a divorce, and lonely times back at my parents house with no job, no money and no girlfriend. Hours were spent on various FIFA versions, F1 2005, Madden NFL 06. I had the Sims game briefly, along with Shark Tale. I'm sure I had others, but my memory has now failed me!!

Now I think about it, I have forgotten something. Back in April this year, I did buy a 'Used' Xbox360 off the GAME website, but that only lasted two days before it fucked up and I had to send it back for a refund.

And now we are back at the present day. I know I want a games console, but don't know what I want. I'm wary of the unreliability of the Xboxes (yes, I'm sure the newer ones are better, but it's alot of money to spend if they're not!), the recent Sony hacking issues have really put me off the PS3 completely. Which leaves me with three options that I can see:

1) the Nintendo Wii - I want to avoid the Wii because I've played on one and it hurts my shoulder with all that arm waving malarkey!

2) the Playstation Portable - it would take me back to my Game Gear days. Except that they cost almost as much as a normal console, so for the money, I may as well get an xBox or something!

3) the Playstation 2 - just put myself back where I was before I had to sell my old one in order to tax my car!

Self-indulgence over. Thank you for reading.

Book, Books, Books and more Books...

Being an avid reader, I often wonder which books that I've read have actually changed my life, or had some sort of profound effect on me. The list is fairly short, but here are (at least) three that have come to mind as I write this blog:

1) Lord Edgware Dies by Agatha Christie.

The first ever Agatha Christie book I read. The first of many. I think I was about nine or ten years old, and boy did I feel grown up. It all came about because of my friend at the time, James Brydon (I wonder what he's up to these days...) was already big into it and persuaded me to part with some hard earned pocket money. In fact, I can even remember where I was when I read the very first page of my very first Agatha Christie novel. It was in the outpatients at the Royal Shrewsbury Hospital as I was waiting for my annual check up for my Thyroid problem. To be honest, it could so easily have been different. I also bought Why Didn't They Ask Evans?, a book I seem to recall had neither Poirot or Marple in it (yet a recent ITV production managed to squeeze Miss Marple into it somehow).

2) High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

My introduction to the works of Nick Hornby. Fever Pitch had already been out and turned into a film with Colin Firth, but that passed me by. I'd decided it was time to read something other than Adrian Mole, True Crime books (mostly the Kray Twins and associated villains) and Agatha Christie, and plucked this from the shelf in WH Smith. A great book in my opinion by one of my favourite authors (as a grown up). For me, not having a string of ex-girlfriends, or being as passionate about music (at the time) as the lead character, it was like a window into the real (but written) world! I even managed to not be too let down by the Americanised film version with John Cusack and Jack Black.

3) The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

The first "classic" novel that I've read and truly enjoyed. Even if I did spend the best part of 5 months reading the bloody thing! I put that down to flicking back from time to time to try and work out where certain characters had come from, and if I'd already been introduced to them. I only decided to read it after watching The Shawshank Redemption, with the bit in the library when the guy mispronounces the author's name as 'Dumbass', and then Tim Robbins explains that it includes a prison break. Days later I found myself in the classic section at Waterstones looking at a 3 for 2 offer. I also took Robinson Crusoe (which I read first and was overjoyed to finally finish - there are no chapters or anything, it's just one long story, hence it took me a while to read as well) and War and Peace which I'm currently too daunted to read. I started CoMC just before Anthony's Christening in Austria, and got through a fair chunk during my 5 hour wait in Dusseldorf airport, before completing the book in short bursts of a few chapters each night over the next 4 months. But I did it and I was incredibly proud of myself.

Wilkommen in Osterreich!

I've just come back from my first proper visit to Austria to see my girlfriend's family. Ten days, which included a Wedding, and some sightseeing in the local area. I'd been before last year, but it was a fleeting visit for my son's Christening (he's a Catholic, you know!).

This time it was a good, proper experience. The village of St Marein bei Graz is reasonably sized, hard to think of a comparable place from my experience, but I'm told it's bigger than Shawbury! It's in the area of Austria known as Styria (or Steiermark to the locals) and Mein Gott it's a fantastic place! It's green, hilly, and has a character of it's own - just driving down the road (which is on the wrong side, I may add) I could see loads of chopped up wood on the side of the road (in England it would probably have been nicked by now!), no hedges obscuring the wonderful view, and every restaurant seemingly signposted from the road. It may just be my holiday high, but on arriving back in England, everything just looked dull and grey. Admittedly I was landing in Manchester, but still...

So, the Wedding build up was beyond me, but being one of the witnesses, I was playing a pretty big part on the day. And the day dawned bloody hot! Luckily I'd gone for a collarless shirt/blue suit combo, so was able to keep fairly cool. After I'd tied the groom's tie (no, really) and taken possession of the rings (eeek!) I joined the rest of the guests at the local for a pre-wedding tipple. Again, most of the conversation was way over my head, but I took it all in, chatted to a few people, just getting by on what German I'd managed to drag back from the far reaches of my memory and waited. The heat was slowly turning up, and eventually it was time for the walk to the Registry office (still with the rings). The ceremony was again a challenge for my German understanding, but knowing it was a Wedding ceremony meant I had a pretty good idea what was going on!

Ceremony over, pictures over, time to return to the local! After consuming a quick shot of Hazelnut schnapps (yum), I resumed my 'Englishman in Austria' persona. Finally it was time for the bus to the reception and food! The thing I've discovered about Austrians - they like to eat, and they like to drink. Quite a lot of them also like to smoke. So, after consuming more food, and plenty of drink, doing plenty of dancing (apparently impressing some despite the fact I really have little rhythm in my body) the night was over and the holiday itself was just beginning.

Sunday was really just a recovery day, so Monday was the starting point. We went to a castle, saw a Bird of Prey thing (I nearly had my head taken off by an owl). Then the rest of the week saw trips to Slovenia, Hungary and then up a really high hill.

I have to say, there were times I missed England, but on returning, I can't wait to go back for my next fix...

It's a bit of a sketchy account of my time there, but it's been so long since I posted, or written anything, my writing craft has suffered. Or I could blame the Puntigamer I drank over the last ten days or so!!!

A Half Century of Blog Posts

So, I've reached 50. The big Five-Oh. So, I thought I should mark it in some way. How about I list 50 things you may or may not know about me (don't go getting your hopes up, there'll be nothing to enable identity theft or any blackmail opportunities).

So, here we go:

Anderson tartan

1) My middle name is Anderson. This harks back to Scottish ancestry in my family, and we have our own tartan.

2) I once had a minor addiction to Refreshers.

3) I only started liking the Beatles after I watched the Anthology series in 1996.

4) I bloody love Star Wars, but am not fussed about the other Sci-Fi/Fantasy stuff that's about.

5) I have read and own every Adrian Mole book.

6) I have always voted Liberal Democrat.

7) I currently don't own a games console.

8) At some point I hope to have a daughter. I've already got two male heirs to continue the bloodline.

9) I've never watched a film "because it won awards". In fact it usually makes me NOT want to watch a film.
10) I'm a little afraid about growing old.
11) I can hold on to pointless knowledge, but forget what I had for tea a few days before.
12) I now regret not holding on to my eldest son when my ex-wife handed him to me on a plate.
13) I always look for the good in people. Sometimes I really have to try very hard.
14) I've always harboured dreams of being a writer in some capacity. Even when my careers advisor effectively laughed at me.
15) I've tried other jobs, but Insurance just seems to come naturally...
16) I want to visit the USA.
17) I don't make friends easily, but when I do, it's usually long lasting. Ask Messrs Heath, Mallett, Shepherd, Holland and Sherriff.
18) I do intend to get married just one more time.
19) I don't mind being on my own, but I hate being alone. There is a difference.
20) I've never seen a dead body. When my grandpa died, people thought it might be a good idea to see him in the chapel of rest, but I point blank refused.
21) I absolutely hate all Apple Inc products - iPhone, iPad etc... overblown pieces of junk.
22) I also despise Rupert Murdoch and all he stands for.
23) I sometimes watch CBeebies for my own entertainment.
24) I like a good jigsaw. Puzzle, not woodwork tool!
25) I don't like Horror films. What's the point of being scared half to death?
26) I would be good to have on your Pub Quiz team.

I've never been here

27) I've never been to London to do the touristy things.

28) I once sat on a bee in my parents garden. My arse was so sore I couldn't ride a bike for days. I couldn't ride it anyway, but that's not the point!

29) I've always felt guilty for not inviting my friends to my wedding. I justified it by saying it was a small family affair. The truth is, she had no friends, so it would have looked lopsided. Sorry fellas!

30) I'm a Pittsburgh Steelers fan.

31) I passed my driving test on the fourth go.

32) I'm crap at drawing.
33) I have my girlfriend in stitches with my Pope Benedict XVI impression.
34) I only started growing sideburns after I seperated from my ex-wife. She always said they looked stupid.
35) I think the footballer Robbie Fowler is a legend.
36) When Michael Thomas scored the Arsenal goal that won them the title in 1989, I ran into my room and cried for about an hour.
37) Princess Diana's death meant nothing to me.
38) I took my time getting into Harry Potter.
39) I like a nice Gin and Tonic to drink.
40) I once wrote a letter to a girl I liked. And didn't follow it up. Oops!
41) I'm not really a garden person.
42) I think of myself as a creator, not a worker. Others call me a lazy bastard who doesn't like getting his hands dirty!

Dusseldorf Airport - scene of my 30th birthday

43) I intend to celebrate my 40th birthday in style, having spent my 30th birthday on various aeroplanes and in various airports on my way home from Austria.

44) I can be quite indecisive at times. Or can I?

45) I used to have a violin bass like Paul McCartney. Sadly I couldn't play it like he did.

46) I have an album recorded by a band I was in. There was a photoshoot in my parents garden, but I've never seen the resulting pictures.

47) I'm a dog person. I just think cats look evil, and they crap in other people's garden (usually mine!)

48) I like to read about History. I wish I'd done a degree now.

49) I limit my coffee intake to no more than three a day, otherwise I'll never get to sleep.

50) I really hate dancing. Because I can't. I look like a carrot having a funny turn.

And there you have it. Fifty things about me. I'm not sure if I'll repeat this idea for my 100th post. I'll probably do something completely different.