Here We Go Again...

So, after a summer of boredom, unfulfilled Tennis dreams and pleasantly surprising Cricket success, this coming Saturday heralds the return of the Football season. Saturday afternoons will have purpose once more, the BBC's Red Button will get plenty of action (subject to bloody BBC cuts) and millions will watch the likes of Gary Pallister, Steve Claridge and Garth Crooks watching games on television and discussing talking points until the cows come home.

And, in true footballing tradition around the world, fans will be scouring the fixture list for nailed-on victories, hopeful away draws and potential banana skins, then casting a wilful glance all the way to May to wonder how it will all turn out...

Well, here's how I think it'll turn out (which basically means everything that follows will be as far off target as an American missile in Iraq).

In the Premier League, the race for the Champions League could be quite a congested affair, but when all is said and done, I think it will be title number twenty for Manchester United. Chelsea and Manchester City will complete the top 3, with Arsenal just beating Liverpool and Tottenham into 4th. Liverpool will take 5th place.
At the bottom, Swansea will make the drop back down, along with Norwich, while after a couple of seasons struggling, Wigan will finally succumb to relegation.

In the Championship, West Ham should do enough to get back up as champions, along with Reading. Cardiff will be doomed to another Play-off appearance, along with Birmingham, Nottingham Forest and Leeds. I'm going for Leeds to make the jump up.
In the Relegation picture, Brighton and Peterborough will go straight back down, joined by Crystal Palace.

Down in League One, after dropping down last season, Sheffield United will go back up as champions, joined by city rivals Wednesday. Colchester, Huddersfield, Charlton and Preston will fight it out in the Play-offs, with Charlton coming out on top.
In the relegation mire, Stevenage and Bury will find the step up too much, and will be joined back in the basement by Walsall and Notts County.

And in the lowest division, League Two, Swindon will be inspired to the title by Paolo Di Canio, followed up by Shrewsbury and Bristol Rovers. In the Play-off picture, Crawley will fight it out with Plymouth, Crewe and Gillingham, with the Football League new boys riding the crest of a financial wave into League One.
At the bottom, Barnet will bid farewell, and it will be a short lived fairy tale for AFC Wimbledon.

Of the Blue Square Premier teams aiming for promotion to the Football League, I think Luton and Lincoln will be celebrating when the season is over.

And there you have it. Either I'll get it slightly right, or badly wrong. Which means that Sheffield Wednesday fans might be better preparing for a relegation battle, and Plymouth supporters had better hope their team survives a whole season with Peter Ridsdale all but confirmed as the new owner!

Feel free to leave your own opinions by the way!

Que Sera Sera etc...

Return of the Top Five

It's been a while, but it's amazing how many things in life can be brought down to a top five... Today, it's my top five favourite Film franchises and my favourite film within that franchise. ('Franchise' is such an American word it's sickening... like using the word 'season' instead of series.)

5) Shrek - In at number five, it's the animated japery of Shrek. The way children's fairy tales have been taken, twisted and then layered with adult humour is genius. Even Mike Myers comedy Scottish accent is funny for no apparent reason. Eddie Murphy gets the hyperactive Donkey act perfectly and Cameron Diaz gets top marks.
My favourite Shrek film - Shrek

4) Harry Potter - The latest in the tradition of 'Good vs Evil' stories has pretty much everything required for success. They're based on hugely successful books and have been adapted pretty well in my opinion. Then you've got the hero at the forefront, but he wouldn't succeed without his sidekicks (the clever one and the funny one). Add in to the mix a bit of adolescent moodiness, hormones and the like and you're left with a film series that will stand the test of time and be passed down to the next generation. Magic!
My favourite Potter film - The Prisoner of Azkaban (for Gary Oldman's performance)

3) Back To The Future - It's difficult to put this at number three, because it's such a brilliant trilogy. Mainly because (at the moment) there has been no attempt to resurrect the series with an unnecessary addition (think Rocky or Indiana Jones). You've got the time travel aspect, crazy Doc Brown ("Great Scott!!") and young Marty McFly who goes backwards and forwards in time, fulfilling every boy's dreams. Plus there is the best scene of the lot when Marty plays 'Johnny B Goode' at his parents' Enchantment Under The Sea dance. Even now, I still think it would be pretty cool to have a DeLorean...
My favourite BTTF film - Back To The Future (for the Johnny B Goode scene)

2) The Godfather - A must for any film lover. A depiction of American Mafia through the ages from the rise of Vito Corleone (portrayed by Robert De Niro in part 2) to the eventual undoing of his youngest son Michael Corleone in part 3. Along the way you get James Caan shot to pieces and Marlon Brando frightening the crap out of a child actor with nothing more than orange peel. Admittedly, in Part 3 you get Pacino's overacting, but it can just be forgiven thanks to the preceeding two films.
My favourite Godfather film - The Godfather (it's just great!)

1) Star Wars - I am of the Star Wars Generation. Therefore nothing will ever beat it. Certainly the original trilogy is untouchable, the prequels a little too reliant on the special effects, but still packed with escapism, excitement and Ewoks... Again, you've got Good vs Evil, the hero with a gift, but still needs help from friends to get by. Acting wise, Mark Hamill's woodenness as Luke Skywalker uncannily transfers to Hayden Christensen as he attempts to act as Anakin Skywalker. Both are overshadowed by fellow actors (Hamill by Ford and Christensen by McGregor) which may explain why neither have really been seen since their Star Wars days. The tone of the series is really set by the opening scene of A New Hope where we see the rebel ship fleeing from the Imperial Star Destroyer that appears, and keeps appearing, slowly eating up the entire screen.

Personally I'm just praying that George Lucas decides to tamper with it one last time to give us Star Wars 3D at the cinema.

My favourite Star Wars film - The Empire Strikes Back (it's dark and it has the unexpected twist at the end)

Could this be the answer?

If you're not a footy fan, or follower, I suggest you have a read of some of my other blog posts, particularly some of the 'Dave' short stories - they're a hoot!

If you are, then read on and see if I've got the answer to the youth development conundrum currently plaguing English Football.

The problem as I see it, is that the Premier League clubs are trying to develop their own talent, but due to the high number of foreign and short term purchases fueled by fear of relegation or failure to secure European football, the youth players are often left languishing in the background, destined for a future at Southend or Walsall. And when the top teams do spy a young star at the lower teams, they usually entice them away for nothing (only to leave them in the reserves and eventually sent to ply their trade at Northampton or Shrewsbury).

So what am I suggesting? It's fairly simple-ish...

1) Take Premier League youth development away from the clubs and centralise it in the new FA place at Burton on Trent. Each team puts an equal amount of cash into the running of it. Then at the beginning of each season, youth graduates are subjected to an NFL-style draft - ie the newly promoted teams get to pick first, and so on until the champions get last pick, and then we go round again until all players have a club.

2) Teams outside of the Premier League remain in charge of their own youth development and if a star is spotted, the Premier League Academy (or whatever you want to call it) buys part ownership of the player (with the source club retaining 50% ownership) and takes them to the Academy. Upon graduation, the source club maintain that 50% stake unless the destination club in the Premier League choose to buy them out, with any fee set by a tribunal (to prevent the big club ripping off the small club, and by the same token, preventing the small club over-inflating the value).



future England star in the making??



3) Like in Amercian Sport, when transfers are negotiated, sometimes terms involve trading of draft picks - so a team could effectively give up their right to an early choice of the young players in order to secure a sought-after player.



At the end of the day, this would prevent the clubs with larger resources from swallowing up all the young stars and leaving them to go stale, it would give the teams that struggle the previous season a chance to catch up for the next season, and more importantly, it would protect the lower league clubs from the vulture-like Premier League scouts out for potential at a cheap price.

That's my 3 step plan to football fairness in England. Who knows, we might even get a decent England team before I die...





Nah...

A plea to any Television Execs out there.

I have been reflecting on my Dave stories, and after careful thought and consideration, I seriously think it could be adapted into a Mr Bean style show. Admittedly it won't be as good as Mr Bean, but I don't mind that.

Or I can just keep writing until I've got enough for a short story collection.

I'm not sure if this is my shortest ever blog post, but there is a point.

Memory Lane...

Now, I'm not really a technology kind of person. You won't find me with an Ipod or an Iphone or an Ipad. Unless I'm in the process of setting fire to the bloody things!

But I feel it is just one of those necessary constants in life to be the owner of a games console. Currently I have a 'games-console-shaped' hole in my life that is just desperate to be filled. I have had them in the past, and enjoyed countless hours playing various games, but circumstances have contrived to give me reason to part with my games consoles over the years. And right now, at this precise moment in time, it is giving me some cause for upset that I can't satisfy my hunger for gaming.

Now that's out of the way, time for a self-indulgent trip down memory lane...





The first games console I ever had was the Sega Game Gear. The creme de la creme of handheld gaming at the time. No rubbishy green-screened Game Boy for me, oh no! Colour all the way. The joys of Super Kick Off 2, upgraded to the more expansive Sensible Soccer as time went on. My 'Wimbledon' tie-in game, Madden NFL (the '95 version). The button pounding Olympics game for Barcelona 1992 is quite an enduring memory for me, mostly because that is the very first game I had for the console, along with the obligatory 'Columns' (Tetris rip-off). One particular Christmas Eve, I so badgered my parents into allowing me a Christmas present to open (just to tide me over until morning) they let me have one present to open, and I tore the paper off to reveal Ecco The Dolphin. Needless to say, I didn't go to bed particularly early that Christmas night, but was still wide awake and bushy tailed at 6 the next morning, much to my parents' dismay!! And I almost forgot my peer pressure-led purchase of Mortal Kombat. It was okay, especially when you'd mastered the death moves. But I don't miss it now.

I loved my Game Gear so much, and got so much play out of it, that when it broke, my parents weren't too happy, but gave into my whining and bought me a replacement. Cue many more years of enjoyment with only one more addition to my game library in the form of PGA Tour Golf as the second console began to wear and get old.

It wasn't until I'd moved out and was living with my soon to be first-wife (at the time - now she's my ex-wife) that I decided the time was right to go back into the gaming world. I bought myself the Sony Playstation One (or Playstation, as it was at the time!) Again, being sporty-minded, I leaned towards Football games, but with two stepdaughters, compromise was needed, hence my collection included a Dancing game. I had Pro Evolution 2 which I upgraded to FIFA03 before the end. Other games that I can remember were Music Manager (a big let down), one of the early Harry Potter games (I think it was Chamber of Secrets, but I'm not sure) and maybe a World Rally Game.

The most recent drain on my free time was the Playstation 2. A straight trade-in to get the bundle with Gran Turismo 3. Over time, I built quite a good collection of games (yes, sport dominated) but it got me through tough times in marriage, a divorce, and lonely times back at my parents house with no job, no money and no girlfriend. Hours were spent on various FIFA versions, F1 2005, Madden NFL 06. I had the Sims game briefly, along with Shark Tale. I'm sure I had others, but my memory has now failed me!!

Now I think about it, I have forgotten something. Back in April this year, I did buy a 'Used' Xbox360 off the GAME website, but that only lasted two days before it fucked up and I had to send it back for a refund.

And now we are back at the present day. I know I want a games console, but don't know what I want. I'm wary of the unreliability of the Xboxes (yes, I'm sure the newer ones are better, but it's alot of money to spend if they're not!), the recent Sony hacking issues have really put me off the PS3 completely. Which leaves me with three options that I can see:

1) the Nintendo Wii - I want to avoid the Wii because I've played on one and it hurts my shoulder with all that arm waving malarkey!

2) the Playstation Portable - it would take me back to my Game Gear days. Except that they cost almost as much as a normal console, so for the money, I may as well get an xBox or something!

3) the Playstation 2 - just put myself back where I was before I had to sell my old one in order to tax my car!

Self-indulgence over. Thank you for reading.