What you are about to read is an excerpt from one of my many started then abandoned writing projects. I have about six or seven of them kicking about, and after an initial burst of creativity, the concentration wanes, then Television or Facebook take over, and then I lose interest, or the next idea has taken over... It's a never ending cycle really, and I really ought to break it and actually finish something for a change!!
Anyway, please cast your eye over what follows and feel free to pass comment either positively or, if you so wish, you can leave some constructive criticism. Which means you can't call me any rude words or just call it rubbish. You have to tell me WHY it's rubbish, or why you think it's justified to call me a rude word.
So, make sure you are sitting comfortably, and I shall begin... (also, this idea is still so much in it's infancy, I have not deemed it necessary to give it a proper title - the file name on my conputer is simply "Another novel idea". And it's in a different font, so you know where it ends too. I'm helpful like that.
Chapter 1
The winter sun set behind the hills as I drove home from work. I fumbled around for my sunglasses in the glove compartment. Finally, after littering the passenger seat with various pieces of rubbish and CD cases, I put my hands on them. Emitting a sigh of relief, I used my mouth to open the arms and put them on my face.
Oh, for fucks sake!” My vision was now impaired by a huge scratch on one lens. I angrily ripped them from my face and flung them on the passenger seat. I took a quick glance at the road, then fumbled around for a CD. I put my hands on ‘The Best of The Stone Roses’ and nimbly opened the case and slid the CD into the stereo. As the familiar sounding intro to ‘I Wanna Be Adored’ filled the speakers, I turned the volume up a few notches. I turned my attention back to the road in time to see the traffic in front ground to a halt. As my swearing mingled with the rumbling bass of the music, I rammed my foot on the brakes and eventually came to a halt amidst squealing tyres just millimetres from the car in front. I sat there gasping for air and sweating profusely. I opened the window for some air and turned the fans on to cold air and full blast.
I drove slowly the rest of the way home. I finally pulled up outside my parent’s suburban bungalow. I stuffed the various bits of rubbish back in the glove compartment and slammed it closed before the things could topple back out again. I picked my bag off the floor where it had been thrown by the earlier braking manoeuvre and removed the key from the ignition. I sat in silence for a moment, then, taking a deep breath, got out of the car and, having locked the door, walked up the driveway and round the back. There were no cars on the drive, so both mum and dad were most likely out. Probably just as well, I thought as I shut the gate behind him. As I rounded the wall, I heard the dog barking and scratching at the French windows. I let myself in with my key and made a fuss of the dog, scratching her tummy and rolling balls for her to chase. Leaving the dog spread-eagled on the floor, I got up and made myself a cup of coffee and cut a piece of birthday cake left over from my sister Marie’s birthday at the weekend. It was still tasty, but was now beginning to dry out a bit. I peeled the icing off and dropped some cake on the floor for the dog, who greedily ate it up. Glancing at the clock, and seeing it was almost quarter to six, I went and got changed.
This had pretty much been my routine for the last three months, ever since my wife, Lucy, decided to screw me over with her boss. It was still bitter, but as far as I was concerned I was better off out of it. To think I was considering having a child with her was frightening on reflection. Now she was living in my house with her boss, causing me all sorts of grief, and I was reduced to living out of my old bedroom after almost six years away. My confidence was shot to pieces and I couldn’t see a way out. It was a good job my family were supportive, and my friends too, as there were many times I considered ending it all. Sinking into a pit of depression and alcoholism had been all too easy, but thankfully, I was on my way up. For now, anyway. I had never told anyone about the time I sat on my bed with a glass of vodka, feeling low. I had emptied the glass and smashed it against the wall. Then taking a shard of glass, I held it over my wrist and paused. Luckily, I was far too afraid of dying to actually go through with it. Now I can look back at that moment and I know my life was supposed to go on. Maybe I had a reason. All I know is that I’m glad I didn’t slice my wrists open. And so are my loving family. If only they knew.
But anyway, as I got changed, I read the newspaper from front to back, reading the sports pages in detail. Having been on her own for a while, the dog was lying by my bedroom door looking sorry for herself. It was a Friday, and I needed to do something. Having got changed, I ran through my mobile phone contacts, texting my mates to see if anyone fancied a night out. Jim, Dave, Mike, Rick and Phil. Slowly, over the next half hour, they all replied in the negative. Looked like it was just me. Never mind, there was enough for me to do on my own in town.
......
etcetera, etcetera...
Any good you think?
Thursday, 2 February 2012
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Laughter is the best medicine...
Laughter is indeed the best medicine, unless you're diabetic, in which case Insulin is probably more beneficial. So said Jasper Carrott. And it's difficult to argue. I've been lucky enough to see some great comedians strutt their stuff and deliver their own style of witty repartee and observations. Some in my own backyard (not literally of course, I don't know if I'd clear Health & Safety) and some I've had to travel to. With January almost over, and for the lucky ones, the first pay-day of the year reached intact, here is a run-down of the funny men I've seen in action, in no particulat order, except the order in which I remembered them:
Rich Hall
Saw the man twice in Shrewsbury (at the Music Hall). The first time Rich did the whole show, and the second time, he shared the limelight with his alter-ego, Otis Lee Crenshaw. On the first occasion, I made the mistake of needing to go to the toilet mid-way through. Big mistake! No surprises then when he picked on me. The stand out moment for me was when he was talking about getting angry. American's go on a rampage, shooting people. Us Brits? We write a letter.
The second time was less eventful (I ensured I went for a wee in the interval) and I even met the man and got a signed CD after the show.
Ardal O'Hanlon
Saw Ardal in Telford a while ago now. Having been in awe of him courtesy of his starring role in Father Ted, the chance to see him doing a stand up show was too good to miss (even if I had to take my now ex-wife with me). I haven't regretted it. He had great observations about relationships and parenting, and even found time to comment on the number of roundabouts in Telford!
Frankie Boyle
Telford was also the venue as I made my acquaintance with Frankie Boyle. He took a moment out of his dark, twisted routine to scan the first couple of rows and made his way along to me. There I was wearing a bright orange T-shirt. I should have known better. A few questions came my way, and ultimately he decided I had the perfect voice for Insurance. I did find him funny to start with, but after a while his cruel, crude jokes start to wear thin when the novelty has gone. Which is probably why Mock The Week were glad when he decided to leave the show.
Dara O'Briain
I saw the big man over in Wolverhampton, and having seen one of his previous live DVD's, I knew what sort of show to expect. Good stories and great banter with the crowd. He didn't disappoint. There was a couple of empty seats in the front row I seem to recall, and this provided some good banter with the folks either side of the gap. Also, the night before, Michael McIntyre had done a show, only to trip over and hurt his shoulder!!
Jasper Carrott
All the way to the NIA I went to see the legend himself on what was essentially a Greatest Gags show. Upon booking, you could request a joke and if you were lucky, Jasper would tell the joke/do the routine during the show. Not thinking anything of it, I made my request ('The Mole' if anyone's interested) and completed the ticket booking. Then, as I was sitting in my seat awaiting the start, I noticed the big screen was scrolling through a list of names. Before I knew it, my name had scrolled past!! I don't think he ended up doing the routine, but who cares?!! All his jokes are funny. My appreciation of Jasper Carrott can be attributed to my dad and his classic cassettes. For this I thank him.
Russell Howard
The third of my visits to the metropolis of Telford. I think he'd only been a regular on Mock The Week for a short time, so hadn't had the chance to air his routine and impose his character on the show. Proud of his Bristolian roots, but not afraid to poke fun at their less than bright reputation, he was a good showman if a little shouty, but overall an enjoyable time. It'll be interesting to see his act in a few more years, to see how he's adapting his act with advancing age.
Stephen K Amos
A first visit to the new Theatre Severn for me. I wasn't sure what to expect from Stephen, but I was pleasantly surprised. Plenty of stories about his Nigerian upbringing and observations on present day peculiarities to turn any frown upside down.
These, then, are the comedians I've been lucky enough to see in action. There are many more I'd hope to see before my time (or theirs) is up. John Bishop for one, Jason Manford another. Tim Vine has a style of comedy that some find 'old-hat' but I think the one-liner jokes are as good as anything.
Fin.
Rich Hall
Saw the man twice in Shrewsbury (at the Music Hall). The first time Rich did the whole show, and the second time, he shared the limelight with his alter-ego, Otis Lee Crenshaw. On the first occasion, I made the mistake of needing to go to the toilet mid-way through. Big mistake! No surprises then when he picked on me. The stand out moment for me was when he was talking about getting angry. American's go on a rampage, shooting people. Us Brits? We write a letter.
The second time was less eventful (I ensured I went for a wee in the interval) and I even met the man and got a signed CD after the show.
Ardal O'Hanlon
Saw Ardal in Telford a while ago now. Having been in awe of him courtesy of his starring role in Father Ted, the chance to see him doing a stand up show was too good to miss (even if I had to take my now ex-wife with me). I haven't regretted it. He had great observations about relationships and parenting, and even found time to comment on the number of roundabouts in Telford!
Frankie Boyle
Telford was also the venue as I made my acquaintance with Frankie Boyle. He took a moment out of his dark, twisted routine to scan the first couple of rows and made his way along to me. There I was wearing a bright orange T-shirt. I should have known better. A few questions came my way, and ultimately he decided I had the perfect voice for Insurance. I did find him funny to start with, but after a while his cruel, crude jokes start to wear thin when the novelty has gone. Which is probably why Mock The Week were glad when he decided to leave the show.
Dara O'Briain
I saw the big man over in Wolverhampton, and having seen one of his previous live DVD's, I knew what sort of show to expect. Good stories and great banter with the crowd. He didn't disappoint. There was a couple of empty seats in the front row I seem to recall, and this provided some good banter with the folks either side of the gap. Also, the night before, Michael McIntyre had done a show, only to trip over and hurt his shoulder!!
Jasper Carrott
All the way to the NIA I went to see the legend himself on what was essentially a Greatest Gags show. Upon booking, you could request a joke and if you were lucky, Jasper would tell the joke/do the routine during the show. Not thinking anything of it, I made my request ('The Mole' if anyone's interested) and completed the ticket booking. Then, as I was sitting in my seat awaiting the start, I noticed the big screen was scrolling through a list of names. Before I knew it, my name had scrolled past!! I don't think he ended up doing the routine, but who cares?!! All his jokes are funny. My appreciation of Jasper Carrott can be attributed to my dad and his classic cassettes. For this I thank him.
Russell Howard
The third of my visits to the metropolis of Telford. I think he'd only been a regular on Mock The Week for a short time, so hadn't had the chance to air his routine and impose his character on the show. Proud of his Bristolian roots, but not afraid to poke fun at their less than bright reputation, he was a good showman if a little shouty, but overall an enjoyable time. It'll be interesting to see his act in a few more years, to see how he's adapting his act with advancing age.
Stephen K Amos
A first visit to the new Theatre Severn for me. I wasn't sure what to expect from Stephen, but I was pleasantly surprised. Plenty of stories about his Nigerian upbringing and observations on present day peculiarities to turn any frown upside down.
These, then, are the comedians I've been lucky enough to see in action. There are many more I'd hope to see before my time (or theirs) is up. John Bishop for one, Jason Manford another. Tim Vine has a style of comedy that some find 'old-hat' but I think the one-liner jokes are as good as anything.
Fin.
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
If You Can't Stand The Heat...
Today sees the start of another of the Masterchef series. This time it's the amateurs turn into the hotspot.
Regular shouty, eaty judge Gregg Wallace is joined by John Torode as they run the rule over a load of people who think they can cook, or have been told they make a nice Steak.
In my opinion, Masterchef is a brilliant show that mixes food, stress and comedy. Yes Comedy. You just watch an episode and look at the facial expressions as Gregg and John wander around the kitchen taking in the contestants and their methods, ingredients and so on.
Recently, I enjoyed the Professionals version and got quite carried away with my support of one chef in particular. She didn't win, but she really produced some intriguing food (and was a bit of a cutie too). Alongside all the food, there was the fun and games from all those skill tests in front of Gregg and Monica, followed by that moment when, having prepared the chefs for the next challenge, Gregg turns to the kitchen door, and Michel Roux Jr enters to dramatic music. And of course, the food tasting. How many times did we see Gregg almost melt into a plate of food after one mouthful?! Or say "I could eat the whole plate!"? TV Gold in my book. I'm even considering patenting a new Masterchef: The Professionals Drinking Game where you have to take a drink everytime the phrase "2 Michelin Stars" is repeated. Trust me it has legs! (Unlike anyone who will play the game - they'll be legless... gettit?)
And yet, possibly the most ironic thing is, I'm not really a foody person. I like food, don't get me wrong, but I don.'t get excited or orgasmic over it (some people would wonder if there is anything that gets me excited). In fact, I don't even cook. The only time I go into the kitchen is to get a drink, but when you've got a girlfriend who can cook like mine, why would I even try?! I used to have a go in the kitchen, well, I had to thanks to my ex-wife who spent most evenings working at a pub or shopping or whatever, and I was left to feed our son and occasionally her 2 kids from a previous marriage. But I never enjoyed it.
The last time I was in the kitchen, I almost dropped a tray of fish fingers. Actually that was the first time my girlfriend heard me shout and curse. In my defence, it was a narrow kitchen and I didn't have an oven glove!!
So, watch Masterchef and see food being cooked and eaten. If nothing else, you'll feel bloody hungry!!
Regular shouty, eaty judge Gregg Wallace is joined by John Torode as they run the rule over a load of people who think they can cook, or have been told they make a nice Steak.
In my opinion, Masterchef is a brilliant show that mixes food, stress and comedy. Yes Comedy. You just watch an episode and look at the facial expressions as Gregg and John wander around the kitchen taking in the contestants and their methods, ingredients and so on.
Recently, I enjoyed the Professionals version and got quite carried away with my support of one chef in particular. She didn't win, but she really produced some intriguing food (and was a bit of a cutie too). Alongside all the food, there was the fun and games from all those skill tests in front of Gregg and Monica, followed by that moment when, having prepared the chefs for the next challenge, Gregg turns to the kitchen door, and Michel Roux Jr enters to dramatic music. And of course, the food tasting. How many times did we see Gregg almost melt into a plate of food after one mouthful?! Or say "I could eat the whole plate!"? TV Gold in my book. I'm even considering patenting a new Masterchef: The Professionals Drinking Game where you have to take a drink everytime the phrase "2 Michelin Stars" is repeated. Trust me it has legs! (Unlike anyone who will play the game - they'll be legless... gettit?)
And yet, possibly the most ironic thing is, I'm not really a foody person. I like food, don't get me wrong, but I don.'t get excited or orgasmic over it (some people would wonder if there is anything that gets me excited). In fact, I don't even cook. The only time I go into the kitchen is to get a drink, but when you've got a girlfriend who can cook like mine, why would I even try?! I used to have a go in the kitchen, well, I had to thanks to my ex-wife who spent most evenings working at a pub or shopping or whatever, and I was left to feed our son and occasionally her 2 kids from a previous marriage. But I never enjoyed it.
The last time I was in the kitchen, I almost dropped a tray of fish fingers. Actually that was the first time my girlfriend heard me shout and curse. In my defence, it was a narrow kitchen and I didn't have an oven glove!!
So, watch Masterchef and see food being cooked and eaten. If nothing else, you'll feel bloody hungry!!
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
Albums You Should Own Part 8
It's been a while since the last time, but now Christmas is out of the way, you can rely on me to help you spend your lovely money on some worthy, deserving, incredibly amazing music. On Compact Disc, preferably. Apparently, Rihanna is the most downloaded artist of all time. This speaks volumes in this day and age as I have observed that the youth of today tend not to bother with the concept of physically owning music. These are the people that seriously need a musical education!
Anyway, on with the show...
Different Class by Pulp
In 1995, we were well and truly in the iron grip of 'Britpop'. We'd had Oasis, Blur, Suede, Cast, Supergrass and oh so many more. Then Pulp released their second album. A year earlier, they had given us the Mercury Music Prize nominated 'His n Hers' and now they took it up a notch with this absolute gem. In the days when bands only had 4 or 5 'singles' on an album, Jarvis Cocker and co managed to produce an album with easily 6 or 7 single quality tracks.
Kicking off with 'Mis-shapes', itself a double A-sided single of considerable quality enough to reach No 2, we get a typical Pulp-style song - catchy melody coupled with story telling 'kitchen sink' lyrics and delivered in Jarvis' own Sheffield way. Following this is 'Pencil Skirt', a tale of a man offering himself as an illicit bit on the side, as well as an education. And then we get the unstoppable behemoth that is 'Common People'. Disco synth-pop tune and funny yet tragic lyrics combine for an instantly memorable sing-along hit.
Sandwiched between 'Common People' and another mega-hit, is the understated 'I Spy'. Arguably another story about an affair, this time the song is a taunting of a rival as we hear that he's "been sleeping with your wife for the past 16 weeks, smoking your cigarettes, drinking your brandy, messing up the bed you chose together..." Nice.
A gravelly, chunky guitar riff introduces us to the super-hit we know as 'Disco 2000'. Another slice of Pulp genius begging to be sang along to (and I rarely fail to do so myself), Jarvis Cocker tells us about Deborah (it never suited her) and how they grew up together. He admired her from afar, and stood by while the other boys had their way. Now he's suggesting they meet up again, and yes, she can bring her baby.
The album continues with 'Live Bed Show' and 'Something Changed' before yet more awesome-ness. 'Sorted for E's And Wizz' is quite overt in it's depiction of someone going to a rave, taking drugs and then experiencing the highs and lows before ending with the paranoia of "what if I never come down?" The song itself was subject of a Newspaper crusade to have it banned, claiming it was a pro-drugs song, which Jarvis Cocker countered with a response stating that drugs "aren't a solution or answer to anything" and that if anyone listened to the song and thought it had a pro-drugs stance had misinterpreted it. As always when there is an uproar about a song, it immediately propelled it to the No 2 slot (Double A-side with 'Mis-shapes') as people want to know what all the fuss is about.
The album closes with the significantly less controversial quartet of 'F.E.E.L.I.N.G.C.A.L.L.E.D.L.O.V.E', 'Underwear', 'Monday Morning' and 'Bar Italia' that whilst not necessarily being Pulp at their utmost best, are still snippets of quality.
And so there you have it. An album that is quintessentially Pulp, almost synonomously 'Britpop' (although Pulp had been honing their craft since the early 80's, when Britpop was merely a glimmer in Paul Weller's eye) and without a doubt 'Different Class'.
Go and buy this album. In fact, buy two copies, and download another copy. Then give the extra CD copy to a friend, and the downloaded copy to some needy youngster with a laptop full of Rihanna, Tiny Temper (or whatever), or Katy Perry. As Tony Blair once said: 'Education, Education, Education'.
Spread The Word.
Anyway, on with the show...
Different Class by Pulp
In 1995, we were well and truly in the iron grip of 'Britpop'. We'd had Oasis, Blur, Suede, Cast, Supergrass and oh so many more. Then Pulp released their second album. A year earlier, they had given us the Mercury Music Prize nominated 'His n Hers' and now they took it up a notch with this absolute gem. In the days when bands only had 4 or 5 'singles' on an album, Jarvis Cocker and co managed to produce an album with easily 6 or 7 single quality tracks. Kicking off with 'Mis-shapes', itself a double A-sided single of considerable quality enough to reach No 2, we get a typical Pulp-style song - catchy melody coupled with story telling 'kitchen sink' lyrics and delivered in Jarvis' own Sheffield way. Following this is 'Pencil Skirt', a tale of a man offering himself as an illicit bit on the side, as well as an education. And then we get the unstoppable behemoth that is 'Common People'. Disco synth-pop tune and funny yet tragic lyrics combine for an instantly memorable sing-along hit.
Sandwiched between 'Common People' and another mega-hit, is the understated 'I Spy'. Arguably another story about an affair, this time the song is a taunting of a rival as we hear that he's "been sleeping with your wife for the past 16 weeks, smoking your cigarettes, drinking your brandy, messing up the bed you chose together..." Nice.
A gravelly, chunky guitar riff introduces us to the super-hit we know as 'Disco 2000'. Another slice of Pulp genius begging to be sang along to (and I rarely fail to do so myself), Jarvis Cocker tells us about Deborah (it never suited her) and how they grew up together. He admired her from afar, and stood by while the other boys had their way. Now he's suggesting they meet up again, and yes, she can bring her baby.
The album continues with 'Live Bed Show' and 'Something Changed' before yet more awesome-ness. 'Sorted for E's And Wizz' is quite overt in it's depiction of someone going to a rave, taking drugs and then experiencing the highs and lows before ending with the paranoia of "what if I never come down?" The song itself was subject of a Newspaper crusade to have it banned, claiming it was a pro-drugs song, which Jarvis Cocker countered with a response stating that drugs "aren't a solution or answer to anything" and that if anyone listened to the song and thought it had a pro-drugs stance had misinterpreted it. As always when there is an uproar about a song, it immediately propelled it to the No 2 slot (Double A-side with 'Mis-shapes') as people want to know what all the fuss is about.
The album closes with the significantly less controversial quartet of 'F.E.E.L.I.N.G.C.A.L.L.E.D.L.O.V.E', 'Underwear', 'Monday Morning' and 'Bar Italia' that whilst not necessarily being Pulp at their utmost best, are still snippets of quality.
And so there you have it. An album that is quintessentially Pulp, almost synonomously 'Britpop' (although Pulp had been honing their craft since the early 80's, when Britpop was merely a glimmer in Paul Weller's eye) and without a doubt 'Different Class'.
Go and buy this album. In fact, buy two copies, and download another copy. Then give the extra CD copy to a friend, and the downloaded copy to some needy youngster with a laptop full of Rihanna, Tiny Temper (or whatever), or Katy Perry. As Tony Blair once said: 'Education, Education, Education'.
Spread The Word.
Friday, 6 January 2012
It's Showtime Again!!
New Year means one thing in the world of the NFL: Play-off time.
Twelve teams left to battle it out to reach the Holy Grail that is the Super Bowl. This time around, it will be destination Indianapolis. Amongst the usual suspects like the Patriots, the Packers and the Steelers, this year we see the return to post-season for the 49ers after a few years in the wilderness and perhaps most unexpectedly, both the Detroit Lions and the Houston Texans. Not to put either team down, but historically speaking, neither have much experience in play-off games.
Anyway, what follows is my prediction for the route to the Super Bowl... (by no means rely on the following predictions for money making opportunities!)
First up is the Wild Card weekend. In the first of the AFC match-ups, the Bengals go to Houston to play the Texans. Cincinnati finished third in the AFC North behind the Ravens and the Steelers, whilst Houston took full advantage of the crashing Colts to take the AFC South title. I think the Bengals' experience will pay off and give them the edge into the Divisionals.
Then we have the Steelers up against the Denver Broncos. The Pittsburgh juggernaut is still going on, albeit at a slightly slower pace and the Broncos won the seemingly weak AFC West with an 8-8 record. There is sometimes an upset in the play-offs. But this won't be it. I'm going for a comfortable Steelers win in Denver.
Over to the NFC now, and the Detroit Lions take on the New Orleans Saints. It isn't that long since the Lions went an entire season without a single win, and now they find themselves in the play-offs. They won't get too much time to enjoy it though, as the Saints should have too much for them in New Orleans.
The Falcons and the Giants will battle out the other Wild Card game, with my bet going on the Falcons this time.
Which takes us on to the Divisional Play-off round. As a reward for being the top seed in the AFC, the New England Patriots will have the pleasure of hosting the lowest ranked Wild Card winner - the Cincinnati Bengals. Remember I mentioned the possible upset? Well, don't look here either. A Patriots stroll in the park, I'm afraid.
This moves us on to what is currently the biggest battle royale grudge match in the NFL: The Steelers and the Ravens. The Ravens won both regular season games but the Steelers seem to have the magic touch in the play-offs. I think this time though, the Ravens will make it 3 wins out of 3 to meet the Patriots in the Championship Game.
The NFC top seed is the reigning Super Bowl Champions, the Green Bay Packers. Fresh off the back of a 15-1 season, they will have no fear in the generally cold and snowy Milwaukee winter. The Falcons will be put to flight as they were in last season's play-off match-up.
The resurgent 49ers await the Saints in the other game. Prior to the reshuffle in 2002, the two met regularly in the NFC West Division and more often than not, the 49ers came out on top. Although the Saints were recently Super Bowl winners themselves, I can honestly see the 49ers winning this.
So, the Championship Games. In the AFC we should (according to my calculations) get the Patriots and the Ravens. Both have history of winning the Super Bowl, the Patriots more so than the Ravens is has to be said. And I think that on this occasion we will see the Pariots book yet another Super Bowl trip.
The NFC is less clear cut. Both are big, glamorous names with history and glory spilling out of every pore. Both teams have played well this year and deserved their spot in the play-offs. This match has history. But I think the Packers will make a return to the Super Bowl to defend their title.
And so, here we are at the end of my Mystic Moore bit. After much deliberation I'm predicting a Super Bowl XLVI that pits the New England Patriots against the Green Bay Packers in a re-run of Super Bowl XXXI. As for who wins? I'm not that brave!!!
One last thing, I congratulate you if you've read this blog yet
have absolutely no interest in American Football!!!
Twelve teams left to battle it out to reach the Holy Grail that is the Super Bowl. This time around, it will be destination Indianapolis. Amongst the usual suspects like the Patriots, the Packers and the Steelers, this year we see the return to post-season for the 49ers after a few years in the wilderness and perhaps most unexpectedly, both the Detroit Lions and the Houston Texans. Not to put either team down, but historically speaking, neither have much experience in play-off games.
Anyway, what follows is my prediction for the route to the Super Bowl... (by no means rely on the following predictions for money making opportunities!)
First up is the Wild Card weekend. In the first of the AFC match-ups, the Bengals go to Houston to play the Texans. Cincinnati finished third in the AFC North behind the Ravens and the Steelers, whilst Houston took full advantage of the crashing Colts to take the AFC South title. I think the Bengals' experience will pay off and give them the edge into the Divisionals.
Then we have the Steelers up against the Denver Broncos. The Pittsburgh juggernaut is still going on, albeit at a slightly slower pace and the Broncos won the seemingly weak AFC West with an 8-8 record. There is sometimes an upset in the play-offs. But this won't be it. I'm going for a comfortable Steelers win in Denver.
Over to the NFC now, and the Detroit Lions take on the New Orleans Saints. It isn't that long since the Lions went an entire season without a single win, and now they find themselves in the play-offs. They won't get too much time to enjoy it though, as the Saints should have too much for them in New Orleans.
The Falcons and the Giants will battle out the other Wild Card game, with my bet going on the Falcons this time.
Which takes us on to the Divisional Play-off round. As a reward for being the top seed in the AFC, the New England Patriots will have the pleasure of hosting the lowest ranked Wild Card winner - the Cincinnati Bengals. Remember I mentioned the possible upset? Well, don't look here either. A Patriots stroll in the park, I'm afraid.
This moves us on to what is currently the biggest battle royale grudge match in the NFL: The Steelers and the Ravens. The Ravens won both regular season games but the Steelers seem to have the magic touch in the play-offs. I think this time though, the Ravens will make it 3 wins out of 3 to meet the Patriots in the Championship Game.The NFC top seed is the reigning Super Bowl Champions, the Green Bay Packers. Fresh off the back of a 15-1 season, they will have no fear in the generally cold and snowy Milwaukee winter. The Falcons will be put to flight as they were in last season's play-off match-up.
The resurgent 49ers await the Saints in the other game. Prior to the reshuffle in 2002, the two met regularly in the NFC West Division and more often than not, the 49ers came out on top. Although the Saints were recently Super Bowl winners themselves, I can honestly see the 49ers winning this.
So, the Championship Games. In the AFC we should (according to my calculations) get the Patriots and the Ravens. Both have history of winning the Super Bowl, the Patriots more so than the Ravens is has to be said. And I think that on this occasion we will see the Pariots book yet another Super Bowl trip.
The NFC is less clear cut. Both are big, glamorous names with history and glory spilling out of every pore. Both teams have played well this year and deserved their spot in the play-offs. This match has history. But I think the Packers will make a return to the Super Bowl to defend their title.
And so, here we are at the end of my Mystic Moore bit. After much deliberation I'm predicting a Super Bowl XLVI that pits the New England Patriots against the Green Bay Packers in a re-run of Super Bowl XXXI. As for who wins? I'm not that brave!!!
One last thing, I congratulate you if you've read this blog yet
have absolutely no interest in American Football!!!
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