To celebrate my 101st blog post, I'm doing my own Room 101 show. To those who are looking blankly at the screen wondering what in God's name I'm talking about, then just nip over to Wikipedia, or Youtube for an idea.
Too lazy? Ok, then. Room 101 was originally a BBC Radio show hosted by Nick Hancock (remember him?) and then a TV show hosted initially by Hancock, before being replaced by Paul Merton, and then in it's most recent incarnation, by Frank Skinner. The premise was for celebrities to appear and attempt to cast their pet hates and peeves into this place of horror, as long as they could persuade the host. Based on George Orwell's 'Nineteen Eighty Four' where Room 101 is a torture chamber in which a prisoner is subjected to their own worst fear, phobia or nightmare.
Up to speed now? Right, then I'll begin...
First in the firing line, it's the current crop of Televised Talent Shows. Starting with Pop Idol all the way back in 2002, through BBC's supposedly more credible Fame Academy, to X Factor and Britain's Got Talent. Whilst it may initially have been about finding a bona fide singing star from people like you and me, over time it has become more of a sickening cavalcade of idiots, morons, attention-seekers (and that's just the judges) and borderline personality disorders all trying to get their face on television fueled by a promise of untold glory and riches. My main gripes are the way the music business has been so badly warped by what gets churned out, and how these days, the competition seems to be more about ratings than actually uncovering a semblance of embryonic talent. Simon Cowell has thankfully pissed off to the US to pollute their airwaves, taking with him his habit of trying to manipulate the public into going his way, and getting in a sulk when they didn't - remember his miserable sour face when Will Young beat his little protege Gareth Gates? Or when One Direction failed to win the other year? How dare people think for themself!!
Finally, ask yourself, of all those who reached the finals of these things, how many have shown versatility or sufficient talent to truly last? I rest my case, can I put post-Millennium Televised Talent Shows into Room 101 please?
Secondly, I would like to consign to Room 101 pointless Horror/Thriller movies. You know the ones, no discernable storyline other than to go through a collection of feeble frights of stupid girls or idiotic teens. Claiming to be based on a true story, when there's about as much truth or reality in them as the ideas in David Cameron's head and words he speaks.
As far as I can see, it can be traced back to the Blair Witch Project. Wobbly camera-work, poor lighting, trying to give the home movie feel (if it's a home movie, it must be true!). Since then, film-makers have followed the same or similar theme interchanging the popular craze (zombies, poltergeists, serial killers etc) and putting in as many 'scary' set-pieces as possible. And people keep watching them! More to the point, there seem to be an awful lot of "scariest movies of the year", that I don't even remember being advertised at the cinema - making them straight to DVD shite. Have I done enough to get these into Room 101?
Finally, I would like to put into Room 101 Bingo/Gambling websites. You've seen the adverts on the television, Foxy Bingo, Sun Bingo, Bingo this, Bingo that or whatever. Closely followed by Ray Winstone's big head, that bloody annoying Ladbrokes fella, Bet this bet that - next goalscorer, next player to gob onto the floor, next manager to point to his watch and so on.
A colossal amount of money is wasted on these things every single day, so much so that gambling is the nations new vice since the Government and Health people made smoking the modern day equivalent of leprosy. Yet Gambling arguably causes more heartache and hurt but without the ever more restrictive laws dictating to its addicts. The Government have clearly got to take steps to prevent it getting out of hand - actually forget that, they're probably trying to work out how to make a shed load of money out of it. Adverts everywhere, Sporting sponsorships, Television exposure is all putting money in the wrong hands. Now, can Bingo/Gambling websites go into Room 101??
So, these are my three choices for Room 101, what are yours?
Sorry to say this, but yes, another week gone, even worse, the weekend is finished now too! So, if you can read through the blurry tears of acceptance, this week it's time to pay tribute to a man who would have turned 72 on Tuesday 9th October 2012. He has an airport named after him, his own area of New York's Central Park and countless other memorials across the world. It's...
1) God
So, what does he believe in?!
2) Working Class Hero
Ironically, he couldn't have been more middle class!!
3) Oh My Love
A little love song!
4) Out The Blue
Surprise!!
5) What You Got
You really don't know, until you lose it!
6) Stand By Me
From his covers album!
7) Watching The Wheels
Just watching them!
8) Grow Old With Me
Released posthumously!
9) #9 Dream
I don't know what he sings either!
10) Imagine
Just in case you didn't already know!!
Can you tell who it is yet??!! Oh, there are no prizes for guessing. See you next time!
About six months ago, I decided it was time for me to take on a literary "classic", so I picked up War & Peace off my bookshelf and dived in, determined to finish the book before the year was out.
Well, it's now the 2nd October and I've given up.One hundred and eighty-odd pages and I've had enough. I tried, I really did, but in the end the dense, hard-going prose got the better of me.
It's not the first 'classic' I've taken on, I hauled myself through Robinson Crusoe, and quite enjoyed The Count of Monte Cristo, but neither of those could prepare me for the pure stodge of Tolstoy's novel.
Normally, I can sit down and read a good book for hours on end, sometimes long after I should really be asleep, but not this one. Sentence after sentence strained my eyes and hurt my brain, each new character sending me leafing backwards to work out who they were and what connection they had - and when I'd finally worked it out and resumed my place, I'd lost enthusiasm and gave up shortly afterward. I couldn't even bear to take it to Austria with me in May, I plumped for a trilogy of James Ellroy books, which I carried on with back home, with War & Peace sat neglected on my bedside table gathering dust.
Eventually, feeling guilty, I picked it up again and really dug in at the end of July and into August, even taking it on holiday to South Wales with me (yes, a second holiday, aren't I middle class?). Sadly though, I've not picked it up again since the beginning of September, and it doesn't fill me with excitement to think of doing so. Which has got me thinking...
Is it me? Or is it modern society in general that isn't able to handle such a literary challenge? It's safe to say that these days everything is given to us in easy to digest chunks, so when something like War & Peace comes along that requires commitment and concentration, we struggle. Welcome distractions like magazines, television or games consoles get in the way.
I've ready too many books to count in my lifetime, and this is only the second time I've given up on a book - the first time was Catch 22 by Joseph Heller. So maybe it's just the style of writing that has beaten me down.
I've read many Tony Parsons and Nick Hornby novels, and enjoyed the turning of every page, James Ellroy is also another of my favourites, and I can't remember how many times I've worked my way through the Adrian Mole canon (to the amusement and mocking of my family), and even as a youngster I was tackling Agatha Christie books before I left Primary School, so I know I'm not a stupid person (although my ex-wife did recently try to suggest I had mild Dyspraxia).
So, this post could be seen as a review, a poor one at that. But I am determined to return to War & Peace at some point in the future, and defeat the beast. For now though, I need to immerse myself in something a little lighter, so I will be picking up a book my brother gave me for my birthday back in July, 'Hope And Glory' by Stuart Maconie.
Just out of interest, are there any books that you readers have tried and given up on? If so, would you give it another go?
Three Quarters of this year has gone. Just like that. The Christmas juggernaut is truly in motion now. Has that terrified you to the core?
2012 marks fifty years since the very first time Bond, James Bond came onto our cinema screens, and this week, the Monday Mix-tape celebrates with ten of the best Bond themes, in no particular order, I hasten to add...
1) A View To A Kill - Duran Duran
Lots of dancing into fires!
2) Live And Let Die - Paul McCartney & Wings
Roger Moore's first Bond outing!
3) Nobody Does It Better - Carly Simon
Apparently, you're the best!
4) The Living Daylights - A ha
One of Timothy Dalton's two Bond showings!
5) Thunderball - Tom Jones
Tom blasts his way through a Bond theme!
6) From Russia With Love - Matt Monro
Bond does easy listening!
7) We Have All The Time In The World - Louis Armstrong
Satchmo soundtracks George Lazenby!
8) Licence To Kill - Gladys Knight
The other Dalton as Bond film!
9) All Time High - Rita Coolidge
It's from Octopussy, and I've not heard of Rita before or since either!
10) James Bond Theme (from Dr No) - Monty Norman Orchestra
The iconic theme that started it all!
There you are, then. What I consider to be the best ten Bond themes. You may note an absence of more recent films being represented, and there is an explanation for that: they're not very good.
Enjoy these, and see you next week!
Hello again, everyone! Another week has flown past us, barely even registering on our radar. But that seems to be the way of things at the moment - going too fast.
This week I'm paying tribute to an artist that isn't everyone's cup of tea. His voice is instantly recognisable, perhaps not the best singer that there's ever been. It's Bob Dylan!!
1) Visions Of Johanna
Are you seeing things?!
2) All Along The Watchtower
The original made famous by Hendrix!
3) It Takes A Lot To Laugh, It Takes A Train To Cry
Typical strange song title!
4) Bob Dylan's 115th Dream
Crazy stream of conscious story!
5) Simple Twist Of Fate
As simple as that?!
6) With God On Our Side
That's how alot of bad stuff is justified!
7) Gotta Serve Somebody
Basically, no matter who you are, there'll be someone above you!
8) All I Really Want To Do
That's really all he wants to do!
9) Girl From The North Country
Say Hi from me!
10) Like A Rolling Stone
The song that split his fanbase - going electric!
There you go, enjoy some Bob. Until next week!
Secondly, I would like to consign to Room 101 pointless Horror/Thriller movies. You know the ones, no discernable storyline other than to go through a collection of feeble frights of stupid girls or idiotic teens. Claiming to be based on a true story, when there's about as much truth or reality in them as the ideas in David Cameron's head and words he speaks.
